Comments on: How to deal with abusive customers http://carsonified.com/blog/carsonified/dropsend/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers/ Sat, 20 Mar 2010 12:06:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: christine derrit http://carsonified.com/blog/carsonified/dropsend/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers/#comment-18861 christine derrit Wed, 24 Feb 2010 22:54:11 +0000 http://carsonified.com/web-apps/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers#comment-18861 I think the main reason people are rude when they ask for a refund is that--at least in my experience--being polite tends to get you ignored. And based on this guy's emails, he already felt ignored. So he was rude, because rudeness gets people's attention. DO you ignore people who ask politely for a refund, or do you just tell them, no, it's against my policy? You say you don't, but my basic customer service experience with any company has been, if you are polite they tell you it's against policy. If you are rude, then sometimes you get a refund and sometimes you don't, depending on whether the service rep interprets your actions as assertive or rude, which you have no control over. I think the main reason people are rude when they ask for a refund is that–at least in my experience–being polite tends to get you ignored. And based on this guy’s emails, he already felt ignored. So he was rude, because rudeness gets people’s attention. DO you ignore people who ask politely for a refund, or do you just tell them, no, it’s against my policy? You say you don’t, but my basic customer service experience with any company has been, if you are polite they tell you it’s against policy. If you are rude, then sometimes you get a refund and sometimes you don’t, depending on whether the service rep interprets your actions as assertive or rude, which you have no control over.

]]> By: András http://carsonified.com/blog/carsonified/dropsend/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers/#comment-17249 András Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:23:59 +0000 http://carsonified.com/web-apps/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers#comment-17249 Oh boy. So many things wrong with this story. First. Basically, you admit that there was no reason for your first reply other than getting the customer to repeat the same thing, only more nicely. So it has nothing to do with professionalism or learning about the customer's point of view... and everything to do with your hurt ego and trying to teach a lesson and somehow coming out on top. So you send him twenty questions, the single most certain way to piss him off. Then the customer replies. If you cared one tiny bit, you'd have picked up on the important clues: he's frustrated, and he's E-MAILED YOU SEVERAL TIMES. Bingo! YOU had screwed up. YOU had ignored his previous e-mails. YOU made him mad. YOU made his original e-mail so terse and rude. Now would have been the time to search for records, and either find his alleged e-mails, lament on your lack of timely response, and word a grovelling apology; or fail to find his e-mails, decide that you believe him (lying about such stuff and pretending to be angry just in order to get a $5 refund would be unlikely), and, again, word your apology. Nope, you blabber about "tolerating abuse," using the royal we at that; blame the customer and draw his attention to a flawed and probably illegal policy; and top it all off by obnoxiously repeating some completely unrelated crap. Then he reacted as any frustrated, angry customer having to deal with abysmal service would have. And finally, you reacted by being judgmental, patronizing, childish and rude. You were criticising the manners of a justifiably angry customer (really, WTF?), and wrote all this crap that I will keep using as a counterexample. Really, this should be taught at customer service schools, as in, how never ever ever to treat any customer for any reason ever at all. If you provide a service, people expect you to be impersonal and professional. By no means judgmental. Ever. You absolutely need to ignore the swearwords. Pretend they're not there. You're not a court of law, the customer cannot be held in contempt of you. If the customer is right and his complaint is justified, solve his problem. Be polite. Ignore his cursing. Especially if it's your poor service that pissed him off. I think people confuse two things: a prospective customer with a bad attitude, and a customer with a complaint who has a bad attitude. The former you can ignore, even tell him to go to hell, if you don't mind the consequences. As for the second: his attitude is much less important than the contractual relationship that already exists between the two of you. Now you have obligations. If he has a complaint, you are legally required to investigate it. And while you may think that there's no obligation for you to refund (based on your crappy terms of service), I think this particular customer did actually have grounds for the refund, based on your ignoring his repeated complaints. I think the main problem here has been taking a very egocentrical view of the situation. It requires effort to try to put yourself into someone else's place, especially if you feel attacked by his point of view. But in dealing with customers, it's obligatory. Your overly defensive attitude made you completely blind to this user's problem and needs. As far as the dangers of being too nice and having every asshole keep asking for refunds: come on now. If you feel abused, i.e. someone cancels on the last day and still wants a refund; or someone keeps asking for refunds on questionable grounds, repeatedly: if the problem is really costing you, then do something about it. Don't let customers pull the same unreasonable shit repeatedly. Or something. Write a nice formula for firing a customer. Write it when you're calm. Not when you have an actual situation. But better still: don't. Just live with it. Firing customers is bad and makes you look weird. Someone will always side with them. If someone is really trying to take advantage of you by asking for unreasonable things (that go beyond what your service level agreement states), just politely decline. Oh wait, maybe you don't have an SLE either. Oh boy. So many things wrong with this story.

First. Basically, you admit that there was no reason for your first reply other than getting the customer to repeat the same thing, only more nicely.

So it has nothing to do with professionalism or learning about the customer’s point of view… and everything to do with your hurt ego and trying to teach a lesson and somehow coming out on top. So you send him twenty questions, the single most certain way to piss him off.

Then the customer replies. If you cared one tiny bit, you’d have picked up on the important clues: he’s frustrated, and he’s E-MAILED YOU SEVERAL TIMES. Bingo! YOU had screwed up. YOU had ignored his previous e-mails. YOU made him mad. YOU made his original e-mail so terse and rude.

Now would have been the time to search for records, and either find his alleged e-mails, lament on your lack of timely response, and word a grovelling apology; or fail to find his e-mails, decide that you believe him (lying about such stuff and pretending to be angry just in order to get a $5 refund would be unlikely), and, again, word your apology.

Nope, you blabber about “tolerating abuse,” using the royal we at that; blame the customer and draw his attention to a flawed and probably illegal policy; and top it all off by obnoxiously repeating some completely unrelated crap.

Then he reacted as any frustrated, angry customer having to deal with abysmal service would have. And finally, you reacted by being judgmental, patronizing, childish and rude. You were criticising the manners of a justifiably angry customer (really, WTF?), and wrote all this crap that I will keep using as a counterexample. Really, this should be taught at customer service schools, as in, how never ever ever to treat any customer for any reason ever at all.

If you provide a service, people expect you to be impersonal and professional. By no means judgmental. Ever. You absolutely need to ignore the swearwords. Pretend they’re not there. You’re not a court of law, the customer cannot be held in contempt of you. If the customer is right and his complaint is justified, solve his problem. Be polite. Ignore his cursing. Especially if it’s your poor service that pissed him off.

I think people confuse two things: a prospective customer with a bad attitude, and a customer with a complaint who has a bad attitude. The former you can ignore, even tell him to go to hell, if you don’t mind the consequences. As for the second: his attitude is much less important than the contractual relationship that already exists between the two of you. Now you have obligations. If he has a complaint, you are legally required to investigate it. And while you may think that there’s no obligation for you to refund (based on your crappy terms of service), I think this particular customer did actually have grounds for the refund, based on your ignoring his repeated complaints.

I think the main problem here has been taking a very egocentrical view of the situation. It requires effort to try to put yourself into someone else’s place, especially if you feel attacked by his point of view. But in dealing with customers, it’s obligatory. Your overly defensive attitude made you completely blind to this user’s problem and needs.

As far as the dangers of being too nice and having every asshole keep asking for refunds: come on now. If you feel abused, i.e. someone cancels on the last day and still wants a refund; or someone keeps asking for refunds on questionable grounds, repeatedly: if the problem is really costing you, then do something about it. Don’t let customers pull the same unreasonable shit repeatedly. Or something. Write a nice formula for firing a customer. Write it when you’re calm. Not when you have an actual situation.

But better still: don’t. Just live with it. Firing customers is bad and makes you look weird. Someone will always side with them. If someone is really trying to take advantage of you by asking for unreasonable things (that go beyond what your service level agreement states), just politely decline. Oh wait, maybe you don’t have an SLE either.

]]> By: me http://carsonified.com/blog/carsonified/dropsend/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers/#comment-16824 me Wed, 02 Dec 2009 03:51:51 +0000 http://carsonified.com/web-apps/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers#comment-16824 You article made me feel much better about myself today. I normally am a very patient person and always deal with angry/rude/cruel with lots of patience. However, there was one customer that i've been unhappily dealing with her for 2 years now. She's a very very demading customer. Everytime, we extra-charged her with something that's supposed to be charged, she had called me bloody or stingy. And whatever we charged her never exceeded $1(we work at the restaurant). The one-sided shit talking about me has been going on for 2 years. However, today -->i lost it. I went up to her and talk to her based on the most possible reasonable reasons. I said, we are not even a franchise. The business has been owned by a family.To cover costs, sometimes we do charge for extra things. Then, she said " i have the right to say whatever i want to say blah blah blah". Finally, i told her "If you are not happy with us, you do not have to come back". Ahd she said she will not return. I think, everybody's patience is very limited. Thanks for the article! You article made me feel much better about myself today. I normally am a very patient person and always deal with angry/rude/cruel with lots of patience. However, there was one customer that i’ve been unhappily dealing with her for 2 years now. She’s a very very demading customer. Everytime, we extra-charged her with something that’s supposed to be charged, she had called me bloody or stingy. And whatever we charged her never exceeded $1(we work at the restaurant). The one-sided shit talking about me has been going on for 2 years. However, today –>i lost it. I went up to her and talk to her based on the most possible reasonable reasons. I said, we are not even a franchise. The business has been owned by a family.To cover costs, sometimes we do charge for extra things. Then, she said ” i have the right to say whatever i want to say blah blah blah”. Finally, i told her “If you are not happy with us, you do not have to come back”. Ahd she said she will not return.

I think, everybody’s patience is very limited. Thanks for the article!

]]> By: Winston http://carsonified.com/blog/carsonified/dropsend/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers/#comment-16297 Winston Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:51:08 +0000 http://carsonified.com/web-apps/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers#comment-16297 Irt sounds like you're being the dick not refunding him. People are casual online, deal with it. Irt sounds like you’re being the dick not refunding him. People are casual online, deal with it.

]]> By: Jason http://carsonified.com/blog/carsonified/dropsend/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers/#comment-12943 Jason Fri, 07 Aug 2009 01:53:52 +0000 http://carsonified.com/web-apps/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers#comment-12943 You know I think you handled that about as nicely as you could. I'm in a similar position. In my company our only responsibility is to stay with an account until we get everything up and running, all services are tested, installed, customer and their employees are trained and comfortable and then legally we're done. We have a 24 hour 7 day a week including holidays Customer Support 1-800 number. All CSRs speak English and Spanish very well. They are paid to handle service issues around the clock. To be a nice guy, 99% of the time I will go above and beyond when Customers think that they should call their sales reps cell phone at 11:30 on Friday night instead of the 24 hour Customer Service number. Even though I have no obligation to do so, I really try to go the extra mile and handle issues for our clients so they won't have to. To my amazement, it is these same customers that I go the extra mile for who harrass, abuse, cuss, fuss, cast doubts on my mother and the legitimacy of my birth. After 4 years of this bull shit I have a basic policy. Nice people get nice, extra mile, service. People who are friendly and who can maintain a certain level of civility will find that I will get out of the bed at 11:30pm and get on my computer and do my very best to help them out. If it's something that only Customer Service can handle, I'll look up the prompts and give them shortcuts to get directly to the dept. they need. But by god you let one of these ass holes decide that I'm the guy that should take the brunt of their miserable life and cuss and threaten me. I'll withdraw myself from the situation so fast it will make their head swim. I don't care if its $5, $500 or 5 cents, if somebody is so incredibly stupid that they can't talk to me any other way than this fool talked to you above then I'll wish him the best of luck and be on my way. I say this with all due respect to the ones who posted that they would have just refunded it on the first email. I have learned that chasing my tail trying to appease idiots takes so much time away that I'm unable to effectively serve the customers who appreciate the level of service I render. So, I left a ridiculously long post but it can be summed up in this. Nice people - I'll stop everything I'm doing and work around the clock to assit you. Ass hole idiots who have absolutely no brain and have no skills to deal with anybody without cussing and making threats, best wishes - best of luck, that click you're about to hear will be the last thing you hear from me except my voice mail. Well that's my 2 cents (or 3 or 4). I think you were just as nice as anybody could expect and I would have probably told the guy to screw himself about 1 or 2 emails earlier. Good luck and take care. You know I think you handled that about as nicely as you could. I’m in a similar position. In my company our only responsibility is to stay with an account until we get everything up and running, all services are tested, installed, customer and their employees are trained and comfortable and then legally we’re done. We have a 24 hour 7 day a week including holidays Customer Support 1-800 number. All CSRs speak English and Spanish very well. They are paid to handle service issues around the clock. To be a nice guy, 99% of the time I will go above and beyond when Customers think that they should call their sales reps cell phone at 11:30 on Friday night instead of the 24 hour Customer Service number. Even though I have no obligation to do so, I really try to go the extra mile and handle issues for our clients so they won’t have to. To my amazement, it is these same customers that I go the extra mile for who harrass, abuse, cuss, fuss, cast doubts on my mother and the legitimacy of my birth. After 4 years of this bull shit I have a basic policy. Nice people get nice, extra mile, service. People who are friendly and who can maintain a certain level of civility will find that I will get out of the bed at 11:30pm and get on my computer and do my very best to help them out. If it’s something that only Customer Service can handle, I’ll look up the prompts and give them shortcuts to get directly to the dept. they need. But by god you let one of these ass holes decide that I’m the guy that should take the brunt of their miserable life and cuss and threaten me. I’ll withdraw myself from the situation so fast it will make their head swim. I don’t care if its $5, $500 or 5 cents, if somebody is so incredibly stupid that they can’t talk to me any other way than this fool talked to you above then I’ll wish him the best of luck and be on my way. I say this with all due respect to the ones who posted that they would have just refunded it on the first email. I have learned that chasing my tail trying to appease idiots takes so much time away that I’m unable to effectively serve the customers who appreciate the level of service I render. So, I left a ridiculously long post but it can be summed up in this. Nice people – I’ll stop everything I’m doing and work around the clock to assit you. Ass hole idiots who have absolutely no brain and have no skills to deal with anybody without cussing and making threats, best wishes – best of luck, that click you’re about to hear will be the last thing you hear from me except my voice mail. Well that’s my 2 cents (or 3 or 4). I think you were just as nice as anybody could expect and I would have probably told the guy to screw himself about 1 or 2 emails earlier. Good luck and take care.

]]> By: Alisa http://carsonified.com/blog/carsonified/dropsend/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers/#comment-11859 Alisa Thu, 23 Jul 2009 00:18:26 +0000 http://carsonified.com/web-apps/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers#comment-11859 I realize I'm commenting on this 2 years later, but felt I had some 2 cents to give. 'The customer is always right' is such an archaic saying, most of the time they AREN'T right and they are very loud about how not right they are, I have personally experienced people obviously lying in order to get a refund, free stuff, etc. that is definitely not right. I think the customer in this case was a grade a jerk for 1. being so blunt and rude in the very first e-mail and 2. caring so much about 5 dollars that he verbally abused someone in such a fashion. While this maybe could have been handled a bit better I think it was the best route to take with someone like this, they can't think they can treat people like that and get what they want. I realize I’m commenting on this 2 years later, but felt I had some 2 cents to give.

‘The customer is always right’ is such an archaic saying, most of the time they AREN’T right and they are very loud about how not right they are, I have personally experienced people obviously lying in order to get a refund, free stuff, etc. that is definitely not right.

I think the customer in this case was a grade a jerk for 1. being so blunt and rude in the very first e-mail and 2. caring so much about 5 dollars that he verbally abused someone in such a fashion. While this maybe could have been handled a bit better I think it was the best route to take with someone like this, they can’t think they can treat people like that and get what they want.

]]> By: Adam Watts http://carsonified.com/blog/carsonified/dropsend/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers/#comment-914 Adam Watts Thu, 07 Aug 2008 18:27:03 +0000 http://carsonified.com/web-apps/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers#comment-914 Angry customers usually have a right to be as this is sometimes confused with frustration. Dont forget the customer is always right for he can take is business elsewhere and remember word of mouth is the most effective mode of marketing. I would have refunded him instead of frustrating the dude and expelling all that energy into a negative globe of frustration and confusion. Your enemy is your friend in reverse think about it ! Angry customers usually have a right to be as this is sometimes confused with frustration. Dont forget the customer is always right for he can take is business elsewhere and remember word of mouth is the most effective mode of marketing.

I would have refunded him instead of frustrating the dude and expelling all that energy into a negative globe of frustration and confusion.

Your enemy is your friend in reverse think about it !

]]> By: jake http://carsonified.com/blog/carsonified/dropsend/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers/#comment-913 jake Wed, 14 May 2008 14:34:16 +0000 http://carsonified.com/web-apps/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers#comment-913 i think u did the right thing. to the person that said the 1st e-mail wasnt that rude, i'm sorry, but if u dont make any attempt at being courteous or respectful, that's rude. anyone that would bow down and submit to someone like that is a moron. good for u for not giving him his 5 dollars back! i think u did the right thing. to the person that said the 1st e-mail wasnt that rude, i’m sorry, but if u dont make any attempt at being courteous or respectful, that’s rude. anyone that would bow down and submit to someone like that is a moron. good for u for not giving him his 5 dollars back!

]]> By: Roger http://carsonified.com/blog/carsonified/dropsend/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers/#comment-912 Roger Fri, 15 Feb 2008 04:07:13 +0000 http://carsonified.com/web-apps/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers#comment-912 Ryan, could you change the $5 to $5000? That should make this discussion even more interesting. Ryan, could you change the $5 to $5000? That should make this discussion even more interesting.

]]> By: Eva http://carsonified.com/blog/carsonified/dropsend/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers/#comment-911 Eva Mon, 07 Jan 2008 09:55:05 +0000 http://carsonified.com/web-apps/how-to-deal-with-abusive-customers#comment-911 Well, something positive did come out of you putting your story on the web. It made me feel better. Thank you! I'm a photographer and rarly have any complaints, but there are plenty of unhappy people in the world, it's just a matter of time before we run into one, or one runs into us. I had a verbally abusive customer that informed me the pictures I took looked like "Crap" because they were printed with a white boarder (for matting the photo if you want to) she wanted them reprinted. I lied to her and said I don't have them on file anymore seeing the shoot was a month ago and all orders had been completed. But since they were such "crap" I'd refund her $44 when she returned the 1 8x10, 4 5x7's, 4 3x5's, and 12 full wallets, even though I clearly state on my order forms that all sales are final. She wanted her money back and to keep the pictures and when she couldnt have both, she told me she wanted the photographs destroyed in front of her, so I couldnt use them for my portfolio! I still don't have the pictures back and I'm sure if I do get them she will have scanned them into her computer first. Well, something positive did come out of you putting your story on the web. It made me feel better. Thank you! I’m a photographer and rarly have any complaints, but there are plenty of unhappy people in the world, it’s just a matter of time before we run into one, or one runs into us.
I had a verbally abusive customer that informed me the pictures I took looked like “Crap” because they were printed with a white boarder (for matting the photo if you want to) she wanted them reprinted. I lied to her and said I don’t have them on file anymore seeing the shoot was a month ago and all orders had been completed. But since they were such “crap” I’d refund her $44 when she returned the 1 8×10, 4 5×7’s, 4 3×5’s, and 12 full wallets, even though I clearly state on my order forms that all sales are final. She wanted her money back and to keep the pictures and when she couldnt have both, she told me she wanted the photographs destroyed in front of her, so I couldnt use them for my portfolio! I still don’t have the pictures back and I’m sure if I do get them she will have scanned them into her computer first.

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